Me: Excuse me Mr. Man, Mr. “I’m so cool that I put my hardware in clear cases for all to see because, afterall, that is how God made us, is it not? Naked?”
iTunes: Yo dude, wassup, what can I do fer ya?
Me: Well, I wanna backup my GACing playlist so that if my HDD crashes I don’t have to re-rip all my CDs. But when I try to do the backup in your software, it says :insert disk”
iTunes: Yeah, dude…for sure. You have to like…insert a disk and stuff….to burn. A “burn” disc, you know what I mean?
Me: Well, yeah, thats all well and good, but what about backing up to a network drive? Like on a super Uber Linux 1TB file server running Suse or Ubuntu, how do I get your software to do that?
iTunes: uhhh…is this your first day on the job? You see, they have these things now called writable CDs, which you can write or “burn” information to. You don’t need a network to work them. All you need is a CD burner.
Me: Wow. ok, maybe I was speaking Chinese with my question before. I don’t give a rip about your 1998 CD burning technology, I want to know if it is possible to backup my iTunes to a network drive so I don’t have to go out and buy a cd-r disc every time I wanna make a new backup.
iTunes: Well…you have to have network permissions to create a share and then make a …..
Me: Look….I am not asking for a lesson in your whacked-out AppleTalk version of networking terminology. All I wanna know is IF you can use your asshat Mac-crap software to backup all my music files to a network share, rather than a CD. Is this possible??
iTunes: Sure, you can do that, but why don’t you take a trip down to CompUSA and get in on their special CD-R deals they have this week? Then you could take them anywhere you wish and use them on other computers.
Me: Thanks for the advice, I have had a few drinks tonight, so I may simply not remember asking for your opinion on CD-R’s but the simple fact is that even if I did ask, I don’t really care. What I really need to know is where I can set a network share option in your software.
iTunes: Have you checked the Preferences?
Me: Yes, not there.
iTunes: So what exactly do you need?
Me: Ok, hi, my name is Jason. I want to know if you can backup a iTunes Library to a network share. You know the option under File–>Back Up To Disc–> Back Up Entire Library ? When I choose this, it tells me to insert a disc and doesn’t give me anymore options. I want to know where I can change this option, to backup to another source, rather than a “disc”?
iTunes: So wait, let me get this straight….you don’t want to burn to a CD??
Me: Praise the Lord, he has SEEN the light!!
iTunes: But why would you not wanna burn to a CD, it provides…
Me: Look, yes or no. Can you backup your iTunes library to a network drive? Yes or No??
iTunes: Um…well. We really didn’t anticipate our users having multiple computers or a home network or anything like that…
Me: Ok, so what you are telling me is that with you have spent the bulk of your profits on advertising and stupid TV commercials, trying to make the public think that you are so hip and cool, but you don’t have a simple knowledge of networking 2 or more machines together?
iTunes: Well, our machines are so reliable, we never saw the need for more than 1 per user.
Me: And how would you expect a family, perhaps a husband and wife, who each have a Macincrash computer, to be able to share files?
iTunes: Share? What exactly do you mean….
Me: You know what….You have answered my question. Thanks for the cool-looking machines that have Unix based OS’s (since your own OS sucks ) that cannot be connected to one another. No wonder you’re company products were never picked up by businesses needing file sharing.
iTunes: Still, a CD-R will more than meet your needs…
Me:….SMACK!
Archives 
July 19th, 2007 
Write a comment
